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Shame · Trauma
The parts of you that carry shame deserve compassion too.
Therapy for the heavy, quiet feeling of being too much, not enough or somehow wrong at your core. Shame often started as protection. Together, we can help it loosen its grip.
What it can look like
Shame wears a lot of disguises
Harsh self-criticism
An inner voice that's quick to judge and slow to forgive.
Perfectionism
Standards no one could meet, and the sense of failing anyway.
Family & cultural shame
Messages about who you should be, passed down and hard to question.
Religious shame
Beliefs about sin, worthiness or your body that still echo, whether or not you're still in the faith.
Identity-based shame
Shame tied to race, sexuality, gender, neurotype, body size or relationship structure.
Shame after trauma
Blaming yourself for what happened to you, or for how you survived it.
How we work on it
Shame is a part of you, not the whole of you.
As a Certified Shame-Informed Treatment Specialist, I approach shame with care rather than confrontation. In Internal Family Systems, shame often lives in parts that once protected you from rejection or harm. We get to know those parts with curiosity, so they no longer have to work so hard.
When shame is tied to specific memories, EMDR, Brainspotting or the Flash Technique can help process them. DBT and compassion-focused skills give you ways to answer the inner critic in the moment, instead of just enduring it.
At every intersection
Some shame was never yours to carry.
Many people absorb shame from the world around them: racism, homophobia and transphobia, ableism, fatphobia and purity culture. That shame can feel deeply personal even when it was handed to you. Part of healing is learning to tell the difference, and setting down what doesn't belong to you.
Questions people ask
Talking about shame feels unbearable. How do we start?
Slowly. We don't have to go straight to the hardest parts. Safety and trust come first, and you stay in control of the pace.
Is shame the same as guilt?
Not quite. Guilt says "I did something wrong." Shame says "I am wrong." Guilt can point you toward repair, while shame tends to isolate. We can work with both.
Is there help with cost?
Yes. I accept Arizona insurance through Headway and Alma, CHAMPVA in all six states, and reduced-fee care through Open Path Collective.
Related specialties: Sexual Health · Intergenerational Trauma · High-Functioning Burnout
Back to: Trauma & Dissociation
All parts are welcome.
Every part of you belongs here and deserves healing.
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